And then Buffy staked Edward
by DracosBouncingFerretGirl
Summary: Buffy and the Scooby gang take a trip to Forks to take care of some "vampires"
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Buffy or Twilight, I just thought it'd be fun to mix the two ha-ha-ha.

Enjoy and review please!

"Ah, Buffy there you are." came the soft tone of her Watcher, Giles.

Buffy turned around from her locker door, to find herself facing the tall, British librarian.

"Giles, it's pleasant seeing you outside of the library during school hours… what's up?" Buffy said, looking up at him.

"What is up is… um well a sort of mission for you Buffy." Giles said, rubbing the back of his head in nervousness.

"Does it have to do with evil creepy-crawlies that go bump in the night by any chance?" Buffy smiled, watching the librarian clean his glasses in a white handkerchief.

"Well yes of course Buffy, this mission would be of the blood sucking variety." Giles answered, replacing his glasses to their respected place on his face.

"Ahh, so it's vampires once again… well why don't you talk me through it while I go find Will and Xan."Buffy suggested, as she and Giles began walking down the deserted hallway.

"Well Buffy, it shall require us to travel a bit, but I'm sure we will be able to make it in due time." Giles began, following her past empty classrooms and the Teachers' lounge.

"I'm guessing there's either a horde of vamps ruining a small town or someone's breaking major rules?" Buffy guessed, looking at Giles sideways.

"Well a mix of both actually, it's a small group of vampires causing trouble in a small town called Forks." Giles answered, looking down at her.

"Hey Buff, Giles… what's happening?"Xander said cheerfully, wandering up towards them.

"Hey Xander, Giles here was telling me about a mission we'll be going on soon." Buffy explained, looking up at her friend.

"Sounds cool Buff, when are we going?" Xander asked, looking up at Giles then back at Buffy.

"We'll be leaving tonight, I expect it's the best time so Spike and… um Angel can join us." Giles answered, looking at the two teens.

Buffy opened her mouth to protest the idea of two troublesome vampires joining their little adventure, but Giles raised a hand to silence her.

"I know it seems unfair Buffy, but I assume we will need them both because the vampires we'll be up against are quite powerful." Giles explained sternly, wiping his handkerchief across his brow.

"I understand Giles, I just think it best we keep those two far away from each other… unless we want them tearing out each other's throats." Buffy smiled, looking at the librarian.

"It'll be fine Buffy, I placed a spell on them both so they'll behave themselves." Willow said, suddenly appearing beside Giles and Xander.

"It's nothing to fear Buffy, Giles helped me place them so nothing bad should happen." Willow explained, smiling at her friend.

"That's good to know Will." Buffy said, looking up at the tall red haired girl.

"Anything else we should know Giles, any special powers they have or are we talking your standard raised from the grave, burst in the sun variety vampire?" Buffy asked, looking up at her Watcher.

"Not… not quite Buffy, these vampires… sparkle in the sun and do not burst into flames." Giles answered.

"I'm sorry, did you just say they sparkle?" Xander said, pretending to clean out his ear.

"Yes Xander, these vampires tend to… erm… sparkle in sun light." Giles repeated himself.

"Sparkle how exactly?" Xander asked.

"You know, sparkle… as in, well their skin looks like diamonds… " Giles spoke slowly, making sure they all heard him correctly.

"Oh Spike is going to love hearing that." Buffy laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

Again, I do NOT own Buffy or Twilight. I just have so much fun messing with 'em

Please enjoy chapter 2! Sorry it took me soooo long to post! Don't hit me with large objects.

*hides behind Spike*

"Oh that is bloody brilliant, these vamps sparkle!" Spike burst out laughing, following Buffy through the house.

"Yes Spike, they do." Buffy affirmed, almost laughing herself.

"Well Giles wants us all to go to Forks and take care of them, he says it's pretty cloudy there most of the time so you and Angel should be safe from the sun." Buffy continued, heading for the stairs.

"Oh come on Buff, I don't need any help taking care of some sparkling gits." Spike complained, following her to her bedroom.

"Giles said they were pretty strong, so it's best to have Angel come along just in case." Buffy retorted, raising her hand to stop him from entering her room.

"Well if all doesn't quite go right, I can always use one of these vamps for a disco ball in my crypt." Spike said, with a devilish smirk plastered across his face.

"If all does go right, we'll dust these vamps and not have to worry." Buffy said, throwing her backpack onto over her shoulder.

"That's no fun Buff, why don't you let me rough 'em up first." Spike spoke, following Buffy back out of her room.

"Well that's my job, it's not meant to be fun Spike." Buffy said pointedly, leading him down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Hey Buffy, I was just gathering some spell books." Willow announced cheerfully, wandering into the kitchen with a stack of books in her arms.

"Good idea Will, never know if some special spell might come in handy." Buffy smiled, as Willow set her stack of books on the table.

"Where are Giles and Xander?" Buffy asked, stuffing stakes into her leather backpack.

"Giles is getting supplies and Xander's bringing the car around to drive us to the airport." Willow answered, glancing up at Spike.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to bring two fully grown vampires on a plane full of walking happy meals?" Willow asked, eyeing Spike cautiously.

"I'm not some rogue vamp, I won't bite unless I'm allowed to." Spike scoffed, giving Willow an annoyed look.

"That's right Will, because if Spike does bite anyone off limits he knows I'll stake him." Buffy said, looking up at Spike.

"I'll be a good little vampire." Spike said, placing a cigarette in his mouth.

"I'd hate to burst your bloody bubble Spike, but there's no smoking allowed on the plane." Buffy said, snatching the cigarette from Spike's lips.

"Then I'm not bloody flying on one to wherever the bloody hell these sparkling vamps are." Spike snapped, placing another cigarette in his mouth.

"Forks." Willow said correctively.

"What about forks Willow?" Buffy asked, looking at her friend.

"That's the name of the place Giles is taking us, Forks." Willow explained, looking up at Buffy and Spike.

"Oh isn't that brilliant, a town named after utensils." Spike laughed.

"We can't drive to Forks, we have to take a plane so you'll just have to deal without smoking for a while Spike." Buffy said, turning back to look at the vampire.

"Fine, but the minute we land I'm lighting one of these babies up." Spike answered, blowing smoke out of his nose.

"Why the bloody hell do I have to sit next to him?" Spike growled, glaring at the tall dark-haired vampire sitting by the window.

"So I can keep an eye on you two, now sit down Spike." Buffy said sternly, forcing Spike down into the seat next to Angel.

"Just behave and save the limb pulling and biting for when we find these vamps in Forks." Buffy continued, sitting down behind the two vampires.

"Remind me again why I'm coming along, I don't even know if these vamps can put the Drac' whammy on me." Xander spoke, settling into the seat beside Buffy.

"Relax Xander, remember? No more butt-monkey." Buffy said reassuringly, looking up at her friend.

"Right, I'm not going to let that happen again." Xander said confidently.

"Spike stop hogging the arm rest." Angel growled, nudging the smaller vamp in the side.

"I'm trying to rest my arm, that's what it's for." Spike retorted, shoving the bigger vamp's arm off the arm rest in-between their seats.

"Boys ,do I have to stake you just to get you two to shut up?" Buffy threatened, leaning over the backs of their seats.

"Stake him first, I wanna watch." Spike said enthusiastically, eyeing Angel.

"Do me a favor and stake me first so I won't have to listen to his whining." Angel pleaded, looking up at Buffy.

"I'll stake you both at the same time if you do not shut the hell up." Buffy said, glaring at them.

Spike and Angel both quickly shut their mouths and sat back in their seats, neither one using the middle arm rest.

"We get to enjoy a whole two hours of this?" Willow laughed, walking up the isle to Buffy and Xander.

"Yep." Xander smiled looking up at her.

"Where's Giles?" Buffy asked, looking up at her friend.

"Oh he's around somewhere, probably glad to get away from us before we have to dust some vamps." Willow answered.

"Are they behaving themselves?" Willow asked, gesturing towards Spike and Angel glaring at each other.

"They haven't tried to kill each other, so yeah I'd say so." Buffy answered, smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

And then Buffy staked Edward chapter 3! Finally got to write and post it, sorry it's taken me a while. Buffy = Joss Whedon…. Not me… sadly. Well enjoy and please review!

"This is Forks?" Spike scoffed, looking around once they left the airport.

"Yes Spike, this is our destination." Giles answered, looking at the vampire.

"Where are the big bad vampires, Giles?" Xander asked, looking past Willow and Angel.

"Not far from here, they have a house in the forest." Giles answered, removing a white handkerchief from his jacket pocket.

"I have a friend waiting to meet us here, he should be here soon to pick us up." He continued, using the handkerchief to clean his glasses.

A bulky rust-red pick-up truck suddenly came driving up the driveway in front of the airport.

"Ah, here he is." Giles said, placing his glasses back onto his face.

A tall man climbed out of the driver side of the truck and glanced around at the group until he spotted the man with glasses.

"Good to see you Chief Swan, thank you for picking us up on your day off." Giles said politely, shaking the man's hand briskly.

"Not a problem, when you called I was a bit surprised but always glad to help out a friend." Chief Swan said, breaking the hand shake.

"This is my group, Buffy, Willow and Xander." Giles continued, gesturing at each of them as he said their name.

"And their friends, Spike and Angel." He added, pointing out the two men standing behind Buffy.

"Nice to meet you all, if y'all don't mind some of you can pile in the back and at least two of you can climb up front with me." Chief Swan said, turning back to face his truck.

"All right." Buffy said, eyeing him.

"Willow, Xander… you know what to do." Buffy said, turning to her friends.

"Yes ma'am!" Xander said, smiling brightly.

Buffy hurried around to the passanger's side of the truck and climbed in to the small seat beside Swan as Giles quickly climbed in beside her.

Xander, Willow, Spike and Angel all piled into the truck bed.

"Thanks for the ride." Giles said, once he and the Scooby gang had piled out of the truck.

They were all outside the edge of the forest, giant pine and spruce trees towering over them.

"Why didn't you get Chief Swan to drive us to the house Giles?" Buffy asked, turning to face her Watcher.

"Because I thought it best he not witness what we were about to uncover." Giles answered sternly.

"I guess that makes sense, didn't you say his daughter is dating one of the vamps?" Buffy continued.

"Yes I did." Giles answered again, looking down at Buffy.

"Now come along, the sooner we take care of this the better." He added, walking towards the forest.

Willow, Xander, Spike and Angel quickly followed him and Buffy into the woods.

"How far is… the…" Buffy cut herself off midsentence as they all came up to a large two story house.

"This is where they live?" She blurted, staring up at the house front made up of huge windows.

"I must say it's not what I expected, I'm midly shocked it's not the usual crypt or graveyard I'm used to." She added, following Giles up to the front door.

"Maybe they've got big marble coffins in the basement or something? If we find coffins that should make you happy Buffy." Xander chuckled, stepping up beside her.

"Something tells me finding coffins won't make me happy Slayer, Xander." Buffy said, glancing at him sideways.

"Giles what are you doing? Shouldn't we be all stealthy and sneak into the house to take them by surprise?" Buffy said, as her Watcher merely knocked on the door.

"As I said, these vampires are faster and somewhat stronger then Spike and Angel so sneaking up would be a bad thing." Giles answered, contining his knocking.

The door suddenly opened and a tall, extremely pale man with blond hair so bright it made Spike jealous was standing over the threshold.

"May I help you?" He asked, looking directly at Giles.

"Can we come inside?" Giles asked, staring back at the man.

"Of course, come in… what is the problem?" Carlisle asked, stepping aside to allow them all to enter his home.

He suddenly closed the door and locked the deadbolt, then turned back and simply stood there.

"What happened?" Buffy asked, eyeing the guy.

"Simple controlling spell, Tara helped me perfect it." Willow answered, stepping closer to the man standing still.

"I'm impressed Will, good work." Buffy smiled at her friend.

"Who are you?" Came a voice from behind them.

"What happened to Carlisle?" The girl asked again, suddenly spotting the man standing by the door.

"What's going on in here Alice?" A tall boy with short hair asked, walking into the living room.

"We heard voices." Another boy added, walking up behind the taller boy.

"Who are you?" both boys asked together, looking around at everyone.

"This is easier then I thought it'd be." Buffy smiled, looking up at them.

"First I want to ask you all a few questions, please sit somewhere." Buffy said, walking over to the first couch she spotted.

She, Willow and Xander all sat down together on the big white couch.

"Is this everyone Giles?" She asked, looking up at him.

"I don't think so, would you all mind calling the rest of your… um… family?" Giles said, looking at the two boys.

"Edward! Rosalie! Esme!" Jasper yelled, glancing towards the kitchen.

The three vampires quickly came running into the living room, all freezing at the sight of the strangers.

"Who are they?"Rosalie asked, glaring at the Scooby gang.

"No idea, they won't explain anything" Emmett answered.

"We've been called here to take care of you all, seems you have broken some major rules and well the only punishment is death." Buffy said honestly, like she was commenting on the weather.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie huffed, glaring at her.

"She said she's going to dust you lot." Spike spoke finally, eyeing Rosalie with obvious disgust.

He felt sick at how much she reminded him of Harmony.

"Dust us?"Jasper asked, not hiding his confusion.

"Kill you, stake you, end you life… can't get much clearer than that." Spike answered.

"What is he talking about Edward, I thought you had to be cut up and burned to death?" Bella whined, hugging Edward's arm.

"You must be Chief Swan's daughter, the one dating…. Edward." Buffy said, looking at the girl and then the boy who's arm she was hugging.

"Ready guys?"Buffy smiled, as she and her friends stood from the couch together.

"Yes." Willow and Xander answered in unison.


	4. Chapter 4

Last chapter! Let the staking begin muahaha. Please review and enjoy.

"Please make this as hard as you can, it's no fun when you accept your fate calmly." Buffy said, digging a stake out of her jacket pocket.

"Oh we'll make this very hard." Emmett growled, taking place in front of Rosalie protectively.

"I'd rather make it as easy and fast as possible." Edward growled, lunging forward.

"Not so fast nancy boy." Spike said around his cigarette, sticking his arm out to block Edward.

The wind was instantly knocked out of Edward as he fell flat on his back.

"Bloody hell you went down easy, that's no fun." Spike muttered, looking down at Edward.

"Get up Edward!" Bella cried helplessly.

"Spike." Buffy said, looking up at him.

"Right." Spike smiled, pressing his boot on Edward's chest.

"Get off me!" Edward growled, struggling under Spike's weight.

"Not a bloody chance mate, I wanna watch the look on your face while Buffy stakes your family." Spike smirked happily, flicking ash from his cigarette on Edward's forehead.

"Come on Willow!" Xander cried, grabbing stakes from his bag on the floor.

"All right Xander." Willow smiled, flipping through her spell book.

"Hey pretty boy!" Xander barked at Emmett.

Emmett growled angrily at him as he ran towards Willow.

"Xander now!"Willow cried.

Xander stepped in front of the on coming vamp and rammed the stake deep into his chest, making Emmett instantly turn to dust.

"Giles, heads up!" Xander called, throwing a stake at the Watcher.

"Right… oh yes." Giles said, turning to face Carlisle.

"Get away from my husband!" Esme screamed, rushing to take place beside Carlisle.

Giles quickly stabbed the stake through her chest, drawing it back as she turned to dust.

Then he rammed it through Carlisle's chest and drew it back once he turned into dust as well.

"This is too easy." Buffy complained, looking around at her friends.

"It's not meant to be hard Buffy, we came here to dust some bloody vampires now get on with it, there's only three left and then I can take care of the nancy boy!" Spike barked, glaring at Edward.

"Fine Spike." Buffy huffed, jabbing a stake into Jasper's chest.

"No!"Alice cried as Jasper disintegrated to dust.

Alice suddenly lungaged at Buffy, knocking her to the ground.

"Damn that hurt." Buffy cursed, tossing Alice off her.

"Stop it! Get away from Edward!" Bella suddenly cried, running at Spike.

"Oh please." He snorted, holding his arm out to stop her.

"I said get off him!" Bella yelled again, trying to punch Spike.

"Spike do something about her, she's really starting to annoy me." Buffy said, kicking Alice against the wall.

"I got her Buffy." Angel said, walking over to Bella.

He effortlessly picked up the girl, using one hand to hold her arms behind her back and one to cover her mouth.

"Buffy watch out!" Angel warned as Rosalie tried to run up behind Buffy.

"Thanks Angel!" Buffy called, spinning around to stake Rosalie.

"Bye bye." Buffy smiled watching Rosalie turn to dust.

"Now to take care of you… oh don't run off." Buffy sighed as Alice zipped away into the kitchen.

"I'll take care of her Buffy, no worries!" Willow called, quickly running after Alice.

A blinding light suddenly burst from within the kitchen, followed by horrifying screams.

"You okay Will?" Buffy called, as the light died away.

"Yeah." Willow smiled returning from the kitchen.

"A sun spell, very powerful." She explained as everyone looked up at her.

"Now can I take care of the disco ball?" Spike asked, shoving his boot harder down on Edward's chest.

"Yes Spike, by all means." Buffy answered.

Spike grinned wickedly as he pulled Edward to his feet.

"I'm so going to enjoy this." He laughed, wrapping a hand around Edward's wrist so he couldn't move.

Spike punched Edward hard in the face, bruising his left eye.

"Good bye nancy boy" Spike said, wrapping his hands around Edward's neck.

With a sickening cracking sound, Spike snapped Edward's neck and kicked his body to the ground.

"I'm going to report you all to the police for this!" Bella cried around Angel's hand.

"You won't get away with brutal murder, I'm a witness and I know all your names." She continued to whine.

"Oh for crying out loud shut up already." Spike growled, glaring at Bella.

"Angel bring her over here please." Buffy asked nicely.

The vampire dragged Bella up to Buffy.

"Thank you." She smiled.

Buffy balled her fist and punched Bella hard in the face, knocking the girl unconscious.


End file.
